Bangalore Women Responsible for Mass Molestation

Amala Patel, spokeswoman for Bangalore women admitted today that “the Home Minister is correct, it was completely our fault that we were molested and/or raped on New Years Eve.”    When pressed for details she revealed:  “Investigation shows that many women were on the streets wearing provocative western wear such as sweatshirts and jeans, which of course, drove innocent men mad with lust.”  She expressed regret for the appalling behavior by local women noting “it’s one thing to go to the market with two brothers and a father along but to go out in the world to socialize, just as if we were people, was clearly a provocation.  From now on we stay indoors.”

Women throughout India greeted this Call for Modesty with enthusiasm and have decided to stay indoors for the indefinite future.  Governmental leaders greeted this policy initiative with approval stating: “It is about time the women of India resolved the rape epidemic instead of constantly complaining about it.”  A leading industry spokesman raised concern over industry and agriculture quotas for 2017 if women remained indoors instead of emerging to work but was promptly denounced by Bakshi Laghari, national spokesman for Indian men who retorted:  “The work will be done without compromising the morals of the young men of India.”

Snark News 2017

Photo: By Rajukhan Sr Rajesh, cc By-SA 3.0,

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