News From Questionable Sources Archive

Trump Single-Handedly Protects Americans From Evils Of Tourism with Travel Ban

With his new and updated travel ban, President Trump hopes to make his decrease in tourism to the US even Yuger!  As noted by the Economist, following the ban, business tourism transactions fell by 3.4% with a cost of $185 million in business travel bookings.  Overall searches for online flights dropped 17%.  So in welcome news for US security, not only are terrorists being thwarted, …

Unholey Jeans

Iran Morality Police Protect Country from Scruffy Jeans! In a great victory for purity of women, a fourteen year old girl was beaten by the morality police for wearing holey jeans.   In a quick-thinking response to domestic terrorism, the girl’s face and arms were bruised to distract the eyes of the impure away from this disgraceful sight.   Women all over Iran poured into the streets …

Bangalore Women Responsible for Mass Molestation

Amala Patel, spokeswoman for Bangalore women admitted today that “the Home Minister is correct, it was completely our fault that we were molested and/or raped on New Years Eve.”    When pressed for details she revealed:  “Investigation shows that many women were on the streets wearing provocative western wear such as sweatshirts and jeans, which of course, drove innocent men mad with lust.”  She expressed …